Author: Adrienne Gonzalez

Adrienne is a 15-year veteran of the accounting industry, if by "veteran" you mean "vulture prowling the periphery of the profession waiting for something exciting to happen." She has been spewing vitriol on Going Concern since the site was founded in 2009. A former CPA review employee, she has sat through more FAR classes than any CPA exam candidate ever could -- even one who has failed FAR seven times -- and can still recall most of the mnemonics all these years later.

Entry-Level Auditor Just Can’t Admit He Wants To Work For a Mid-Size Firm

Ed. note: Find yourself caught at a crossroads unsure which path to take? Feeling lost and hopeless? Just want to know your lucky lotto numbers for next week? Hit us up and the career advice brain trust will take your hand, restore your faith, guide you down the path of greatness and even pick out what you should wear tomorrow.

Hi,

By the end of the week, I am going to need to make a decision on which offer to accept. I am applying for entry-level auditing positions, and received my first offer last Friday. I also anticipate receiving two more by Thursday. The one I recently received is from a mid-size regional firm that specializes in an industry that I find to be very interesting. I alsoith their staff and think I would really enjoy myself there. One of the offers I anticipate receiving on Thursday is from a Big 4 firm.

The biggest issue for me it seems is which job will put me in the best position 3-5 years from now. There is a greater than 50% chance that I will need to move in the next few years, and I keep going back to the fact that working for a Big 4 will give me the most options. The mid-size firm does some work nationally, and may connect me with other public accounting firms around the country, but that is about the extent of it. Is working at a Big 4 that big of a deal to future employers? If I plan to make a career in public accounting, is it easy to switch from one mid-size firm to another – or am I more likely to get recognized by a mid-size if I’m coming from a Big 4?

I have been a regular reader of Going Concern over the past few months, and appreciate the depth of knowledge you and the readers have, so I’m hoping you can help.

#1) Thanks for the kind words but maybe you need to spend a few more months on this website if you actually do not possess the knowledge to answer your own questions for yourself, namely the ones that question just how big of a deal Big 4 is on your resume. We at least hope when you say “mid-size” you mean a truly mid-size and not a small, regional firm that just so happens to have a national client or two. At least you’ve got hope for flexibility in that case.

#2) Now that you’ve thought about it for a moment, slapped yourself upside the head and come to the realization that yes, Big 4 on your resume really is that big of a deal (how we feel about that is irrelevant for this discussion, we are not talking about the Kool-Aid itself but simply the effects of said Kool-Aid), the question is what you want to do in the next several years. You should also realize from your short time on this site that few public accounting grunts actually dedicate 3 – 5 years of their life to the firm. 2 years in Big 4 is sufficient to get your CPA, get some good connections and earn a solid item on your resume.

However, you note part of the mid-size appeal to you is the opportunity to work close to an industry that interests you. It’s awesome that you are aware enough of what you like to think in these terms but what happens if you turn down Big 4 for this mid-size option only to find out this specialization is not at all interesting to you? Are you 100% positive that the Big 4 opportunity wouldn’t allow you the same close quarters with an industry you find appealing?

When you say you hit it off with the mid-size staff, do you mean their actual staff or just the hot recruiting bubbleheads hired to lure you into their trap? If you mean actual staff, then I think your decision here is clear. You seem to have a good feeling about the mid-size opportunity and are simply confused because you have bought into the idea that there is nothing like Big 4. That isn’t a myth, but it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a career of mediocrity if you forgo the Big 4 route for something that you feel fits you better.

You probably already know all of these things and didn’t really need to email us to ask. If your heart is telling you go mid-size, do it. It isn’t going to make you a public accounting pariah, though it may limit your opportunities later on slightly. Note I said slightly. You will not be relegated to some public leper colony for being branded with the curse of anything but Big 4. On the other hand, Big 4 might steal your soul and you could find yourself suicidal before you are anywhere near to the two year mark just for the sake of a few extra opportunities and a nice resume item later on down the road.

Is that a risk you are willing to take? Only you can decide that. I’m pretty sure we have at least one or two mid-size staff lurking around here to offer you some more specialized advice based on their experiences beyond what I’ve just suggested to you (just ignore GT Partner, who is an obvious troll). Good luck.

Accounting News Roundup: Tapping the Poor’s Backdoor; IRS Targets Questionable Preparers; Raj’s Record Fine | 11.09.11

Accounting rules hurt public pension reform [SF Examiner]
The answer lies with the professionals who oversee public pension accounting, an unelected class of rule makers and contractors holding tremendous power. Pension number-crunching by the state funds has long been thought by financial economists to be illegitimate.
This begins with the fact that they are allowed to value their liabilities using projected investment returns rather than an interest rate derived from the real-world risk characteristics of the debt.
This policy, set by the Government Accounting Standards Board, makes pension deficits appear dramatically smaller than they really are.

Shulman Says IRS Will Focus on ‘High Risk’ Return Preparers [Business Week]
Internal Revenue Service Commissioner Douglas Shulman said the agency will place greater focus on return preparers it identifies as “high risk” in the upcoming tax filing system. “Beginning soon, the IRS will send letters to tax-return preparers who have been identified as high risk,” Shulman said today at a conference in Washington sponsored by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants. “The letters are intended to bring to these return preparers’ attention that we’ve noticed some questionable traits” on some of their returns.

A backdoor tax on the poor [The Hill]
The IRS wants poor people to pay higher taxes. And it has figured out a way to do so without a rate increase. It is called a return-free system. Instead of completing your 1040 form yourself, the IRS would fill it out for you. All you have to do is cut a check. Congress is currently considering a bill to create such a system: H.R. 1069, sponsored by Rep. Jim Cooper (D-Tenn.).

CEOs say they are confident: PwC poll [China Daily]
More than half the CEOs in the Asia-Pacific region are “very confident” of increased revenue for their companies over the next three to five years, despite the ongoing economic turbulence in Europe and the United States, according to a survey from the international accountants, PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC).

FASB Seeks Comments on Proposal to Defer Changes to Presentation of Reclassification of Other Comprehensive Income on Financial Statements [MarketWatch]
So, you know, get those comments ready if you’re all about the OCI

Rajaratnam Ordered in SEC Case to Pay Record $92.8 Million Fine [Business Week]
Rumor is Raj is looking for a new insider trading scheme to fund the fine, any takers?

Possible Future KPMGer Is Drawn to the Culture But Turned Off By KPMG’s Reputation

Oh dear, have we taken the Big 3 joke a little too far?

I just received my internship offers (audit), one from each of the Big 4. The office culture I like the most and felt I had the most connection with is KPMG. However, I know KPMG’s reputation as the “worst of the big 4”. I don’t want to stay in public accounting forever and want the firm name on my resume to say something when I am looking for jobs in the future. Since I have other options, am I dumb to turn them down? Deloitte has offered the most money, but I don’t want to chase money, I want to go somewhere I’ll actually like. I just don’t want people to look down on my choice, or have to deal with crappy audit software and be miserable.
Help!

Well congratulations on a grip of offers; for someone in a predicament, it’s a pretty nice predicament to be in. That being said, I think your best bet is going to be to ignore the complaints (there are plenty, and not just about KPMG) and listen to your gut.

Who told you KPMG is the worst of the Big 4? I really hope you’re not going solely on what has been said here on Going Concern, because it’s fair to say we get trolled pretty heavily by competing firms (and by firms I mean PwC) trying to start a who has the biggest dick contest on the Internet. For as much as we joke about how KPMG isn’t really a Big 4 firm, for all intents and purposes they are. Hey, our own downward-dog-facing, veggie-eating public accounting refugee Caleb came from there, so they can’t be that bad. OK, maybe he’s a bad example of what good comes out of the firm. Forget I mentioned it.

Yes eAudit sucks according to those doomed to use it but are you really getting into this line of work for the cool, totally functional software?

Who are you worried about looking down on you? It’s KPMG, not GT (I kid, GTers). For real though, it’s KPMG, not Johnson and Johnson, CPAs in some guy’s basement. You’ll still be getting the Big 4 experience and exposure to large clients that you’re after. KPMG’s reputation is mostly an inside joke, it’s highly unlikely that someone in private industry looking at your resume is going to exclaim loudly that you’re some kind of loser for spending your internship with them. Seriously.

What I would suggest to you is to keep in touch with your points of contact at the other firms just in case and take the KPMG gig. If your heart is telling you KPMG is the one and you don’t have any real evidence proving otherwise, it’s worth a shot. If it doesn’t work out, having those contacts at the other firms will come in handy – and even if you stick around at KPMG for awhile, you can expect the poachers to reach out later anyway. Point being, let everyone down softly but keep those doors open in case you need to GTFO through them later.

You are not dumb for turning down other options if you feel your choice is the best. You are, however, dumb for not taking an opportunity that excites you just because some people have said some not so nice things about it.

Is a 73 on BEC Worth a Rescore?

Though this week is a little different, you are still welcome to email me directly with CPA exam questions so they don’t get lost in the editorial mix. Especially good questions like this one:

Adrienne,

Never thought I’d get to this point, but I’m a heavy senior who has yet to pass the CPA exam. Granted, I also haven’t TAKEN all the parts of the exam, but that’s not why I’m writing.

I took BEC in the 3rd testing window of 2011, and failed by 2 points. Two lousy points. To make it even worse, I didn’t receive my score notice until October 5, so it was difficult to just take it again quickly before I forget all those things I so diligently learned.

But it said that my writing section was strong. Is there any hope in having a positive result if I contest the exam? Is it possible to get two more points out of a strong writing section? It’s $150 to contest, or just $225 to retake…. but retaking of course involves re-studying which makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. Dramatic? Yes. Accurate? Insanely so.

Anyways, any help you and/or the readers of Going Concern can provide me would be greatly appreciated!

First, “Heavy Senior,” no judgments. While it’s generally in your best interest to knock this puppy out as early as you can, we realize life happens. The important part is you’re doing it now.

Second, forget a rescore. I mean completely forget such a thing even exists because even though you can technically request one, it is NEVER going to turn out in your favor. In the four years I worked in CPA review, I never once heard of a successful rescore, and as far as I know, it’s been even longer since one actually turned out in the candidate’s favor. Think about it… if the AICPA had to admit its precious highly-guarded psychometric scoring system was (gasp!) flawed, how many candidates would cry foul?! Isn’t going to happen.

My third point, however, is the one that should keep you out of that hole you want to crawl into and die. Here’s the good news: you got a 73 on BEC! Do you realize how many candidates need at least 4 attempts on BEC to get anywhere near that? Just a little bit more studying and you’ll nail it. I realize this is not much to get excited over but it’s something, and let’s be real about it, you don’t have much to go on here.

My last little item here is that you don’t get bonus points for writing a really, REALLY good essay. God, it pains me to say that – feeling like the champion of the English language for lost little accountants everywhere – but doing really good on the writing portion is not going to get you a higher score than someone who performed satisfactorily on the essays. I’m beyond proud of you for smashing through stereotypes that say accountants don’t rite good but unfortunately for the purposes of the CPA exam, it isn’t going to help you to perform extraordinarily well in this area. So don’t. By all means, continue to write well-versed, correctly-formatted emails as you are an asset to the profession but for the exam? Forget it. Bare minimum, my friend.

You haven’t forgotten everything you learned, it’s in there somewhere. A quick refresh and a thorough once-over of your review materials plus lots of practice questions will get you there. When it comes to BEC (as I’m sure you know), there is no such thing as studying too much. Try not to do the same questions over and over but instead focus on covering as much material as possible. Having taken BEC already, I don’t need to remind you why this is important.

Good luck!

PwC Is Still Looking For (Other Big 4’s) Talent

We didn’t say poaching. But if we did say poaching, we’d also mention PwC is pretty damn good at it.

A non-PwC but Big 4 tipster shares an unsolicited email received on LinkedIn. Names have been redacted to protect the innocent (and guilty):

Significant Audit Opportunity with PwC in Chicago!
Dear ______,

Hello! I took some time to review your profile and felt that it would be mutually valuable for us to connect. I am a the manager of the talent acquisition team for our Assurance group at PwC, and we are currently experiencing substantial growth in this area across the US. In fact, our Chicago region ranked # 1 out of 6 markets with respect to growth in 2010.

Therefore, I’d appreciate the opportunity to set up some time with you to have a dialogue around industry and marketplace trends and PwC’s current expansion plans.

Even if you are not currently exploring outside opportunities, I would welcome the chance to network with you. Alternatively, if you know of anyone else who is open to considering new ventures, please feel free to pass on my details. With all the changes going on in the industry, especially at PwC, it’s always good to do a little information gathering.

Please feel free to contact me, or _____, Experienced Recruiting Associate – Assurance, at________ or at _______.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Is it just me or is “a little information gathering” a totally creepy proposition? And really?! “Significant” position? That’s the best they could do? I’m sorry but if I were a Big 4 grunt happy with my employer, it would take more than “significant” to get me to double cross them by abandoning them for the enemy.

Of course, this teaches those of you miserable in your current positions that it is important to have an updated LinkedIn presence that will draw in those anxious recruiters in like flies to Caleb’s armpits after a marathon yoga session.

Go get ’em, PwC!

Two-Timing Intern Considers Coming Clean

Ed. note: Are you questioning your career choices? Looking for guidance on how not to be a total jackass? Hoping for validation? Just feeling lonely and need someone to talk to? Get in touch, the career advice brain trust has your back.

Greetings,

I wanted to get your advice on whether or not I’m being unethical. I’m a career changer (finance to accounting) and finishing my masters in accounting in Summer 2012. I missed the recruiting window since I declared my major so late. Faced with the fact that I “missed the boat” on the recruiting season I luckily landed an audit internship with a national (top 20) CPA firm. My GPA and years of professional experience as well as a good interview got 20 isn’t Big 4; but in this job market I couldn’t afford to be picky.

But the Big 4 kool aid was calling me. I know they suck, underpay, and overwork but I view those factors as necessary evils to build my human capital. While the campus recruiters shunned me, I applied directly to the Big 4 as an experienced hire. Got an interview, and landed a full time staff audit position upon graduation (no internship required).

My problem is; I’m still interning this Spring (before graduation) at the other national CPA firm. Is it wrong for me to conceal the fact that I’m already signed to the Big 4 firm upon graduation? My Big 4 hiring people say I’m not doing anything wrong to conceal the fact since one is an internship and the other is a full time position. But I can’t help but feel that if the smaller firm knew there was zero chance that I’ll come aboard full time (if they offer) that they would reconsider allowing me to intern. I don’t want to start my new career being shady, but I want the internship experience and I need the money. Plus; there’s always the risk that the Big 4 firm rescinds their offer if the market shifts, right?

Thanks for your help guys,

Stuck in Gray Area

Sooooo, what is the problem, exactly, Gray Area? Call me dense or shadier than you are but I don’t really see the moral dilemma here. In theory, you’re cheating on the company that gave you an internship, not on your wife. In America, you’re completely allowed to do this (it’s called at-will employment, not indentured servitude). As long as you aren’t running off to your new employer with your current employer’s dirty little secrets, you’re fine.

Then again, you have to keep in mind that public accounting is a small world. In the worst case scenario, you piss everyone off with your two-timing and no one wants to hire your dirty dog ass. In the best case scenario, your “top 20” firm is used to getting ditched for the Big 4 and doesn’t care, or never finds out and you simply end your internship on a good note and move on. But if you’re some kind of superstar standout over there, they might stalk your LinkedIn profile and “wonder” how you landed a Big 4 gig so soon. So?

Yes, technically you are being shady. Unethical? That’s a stretch. Still, it’s a great sign that you are considering these things, it shows you’ll make a great CPA some day.

You mention “this job market” – of what job market do you speak? Jobs are a dime a dozen in accounting, and with something like 3% unemployment in our cozy little industry, you shouldn’t feel forced to take whatever you can get just to have a job. Unless you are a serious underachiever, morally bankrupt (not an issue, see above), socially challenged or cursed with horrible halitosis and a contagious skin condition, you should be able to find a decent gig in this industry unless market conditions wildly change. I just don’t see that happening.

I recommend channeling your inner Ayn Rand for a good dose of “to each his own” that might help you get over the moral dilemma. Your first loyalty always lies with your own well-being (be that financial, mental, whatever), unless your employer has personally given you a kidney or bailed you out of jail, you really don’t owe them anything except the work they pay you for.

That being said, if you are half-assing your work at your current firm because you know your days are numbered, that’s a bit more shady than simply lining up an opportunity you feel is better for your goals. As long as you’re doing what is expected of you, I see no harm to your public accounting karmic balance. Then again, I’m kind of a sketchy, money-grubbing sleazebag.

I’m hoping the sketchy, money-grubbing sleazebags who frequent this site will be happy to back me up on this.

Accounting News Roundup: IFRS 9.1; Credit Suisse Snitches to the IRS; Supreme Court Has KPMG’s Back | 11.08.11

Accounting body may change its “fair value” rule [Reuters]
IASB board member Stephen Cooper told an accounting conference on Monday IFRS 9 may have to be changed as it tries to “converge” its rules with those used in the United States.
Differences between the IASB and the U.S. Financial Accounting Standards Board over aligning fair value and other rules pushed back convergence work due to have been completed by June this year.
“If we are going to consider the FASB position and think what we should do and ask constituents views, then implicitly we have to contemplate the possibility of reopening IFRS 9 and making changes. Otherwise, what is the point of consulting?,” Cooper said.

Olympus fallout hits Tokyo securities traders [FT]
Japanese brokerage stocks were caught up in the downdraft amid speculation that they may have been involved in Olympus’s activities, analysts said. Nomura Securities , which said it was unaware of any involvement in the group’s concealment of losses, saw very active trade as its shares slid 15 per cent to Y245 – the lowest since 1974, according to Bloomberg data. Daiwa Securities fell 7 per cent to Y251.

Credit Suisse To Disclose Names Of U.S. Clients Suspected Of Tax Evasion [Reuters]
Credit Suisse AG, Switzerland’s second-largest bank, has begun notifying certain U.S. clients suspected of offshore tax evasion that it intends to turn over their names to the Internal Revenue Service, with the help of Swiss tax authorities. Credit Suisse’s notification by letter, a copy of which was obtained on Monday by Reuters, says the handover of names and account details will take place following a recent formal request for the information by the IRS.

Deloitte to Lease Office Space Near London 2012 Olympic Park [Business Week]
Deloitte LLP will lease two floors in a 12-story building by London’s Olympic Park to entertain clients during the 2012 Summer Games. Deloitte, one of accounting’s “Big Four” firms, will use about 16,000 square feet (1,486 square meters) of space near the main venues in London’s East End, spokesman James Igoe said. He didn’t say how much the building’s owner, Westfield Group, will charge in rent.

US High Court Orders Fla Court To Reconsider KPMG Appeal In Case Tied To Madoff [WSJ]
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday ordered a Florida court to reconsider a KPMG LLP appeal that seeks to stop a Florida lawsuit alleging the accounting firm failed to properly audit three funds that invested with Bernard Madoff.
Investors in the funds, managed by Tremont Group Holdings Inc., said they lost millions in the Madoff Ponzi scheme and alleged those losses were the direct result of KPMG’s failure to detect the fraud.

Promises Made, and Remade, by Firms in S.E.C. Fraud Cases [NYT]
Did you say the SEC has no balls? That’s what I heard.

Obama Needs to Fire SEC Chief Schapiro [The Street]
Opinions. Assholes. Everyone has one.

It Turns Out Olympus Could Have (Allegedly) Hidden One of the Largest Accounting Frauds EVER

Just a few days ago, Caleb asked why anyone would care if Olympus fired KPMG after a dispute over an accounting matter, but early this morning we learned the answer to that seemingly obvious question.

The question now is, why did KPMG wait around to get fired and not run the hell out of there? Well, because the issue at hand at that point was “goodwill impairment,” which ended up being a series of $1 billion transactions that added up to possible fraud. We won’t say Japanese regulators haven’t had the chance to dissect the evidence yet. We can only assume KPMG did not notice that glaring $1 billion error or surely they would have alerted the financial authorities. No, dismissed “quietly,” swapped out for Ernst & Young. Like Uncle Ernie needs this heat right now.

Fine. Now we’re at tonight (here, at least) and WSJ is live-blogging the press conference at which Olympus’s new president suffered a media grilling over revelations that the company used phony mergers to hide investment losses from shareholders.

“I was absolutely unaware of the facts I am now explaining to you,” new CEO Shuichi Takayama told the press conference. “The previous presentations were mistaken.” Right. First thing you do in this situation is CY-MFing-A, bro.

The Japanese medical equipment and digital camera maker admitted to using acquisitions to cover its securities losses going back to the 1990s. Think about that for a moment. Many of you weren’t even aware of the world around you in the 90s, that was a long fucking time ago. So much for confidence in fragile financial markets.

It wasn’t that long ago that Olympus fired its British CEO Michael Woodford. Takayama had to answer more than a few questions about Woodford at his press conference:

There is a question about Mr. Woodford. “There are no plans for him to return,” Mr. Takayama said.

A reporter asking why the company is not thinking about revoking Mr. Woodford’s dismissal.

Mr. Takayama said Mr. Woodford was dismissed for his management style and therefore, there is no thought of revoking that dismissal.

A reporter asks Mr. Takayama if his impression of Mr. Woodford has changed in light of the revelations, his response: “No, it has not.”

It’s very interesting how they are holding the line against Mr. Woodford. It almost seems personal.

It couldn’t possibly stem from a feeling of betrayal and anger! A 20-year-old (alleged) fraud is suddenly trotted out into the 24-hour Internet news cycle (they didn’t have that in the 90s when they started this scam) and these guys have to apologize to shareholders because this asshole went sniffing around their completely obviously fake M&As.

“It is truly extraordinary and frankly unbelievable that Olympus, a major Nikkei listed public company, made a series of payments approaching USD 700 million in fees to a company in the Cayman Islands whose ultimate ownership is still unknown to us, preventing the auditors from verifying that no related parties were involved,” Woodford wrote in an Oct. 11 letter. “In putting the company first, the honorable way forward would be for you and Mori-san to face the consequences of what has taken place, which is a shameful saga by any stretch of the imagination.”

Woodford hired PwC, who wrote a damning report exposing Olympus’s shady M&A activities. PwC spokesman Derek Nash said he “could neither confirm or deny” that the firm had done any work for Olympus.

Fuck! When will these whistleblowers stop?

The good news: plenty of work coming up for you, GC faithful.

Ex-Marine Who Missed Internship Deployment Looking For His Next Assignment

Do you guys ever get an insidious sense of deja vu when reading some of these advice posts? I know I do. Anyway, here’s another lost little sheep looking for a sense of direction in this big scary world. If you’re feeling lost, hopeless, confused or otherwise unsure, hit us up with your issue and we’ll do our best not to make fun of you in front of everyone.

Dear GC,

I have a situation that may be just a little bit different than most college undergraduates but can’t be the only one in this situation. I attend a small private business sch I am a Marine Corps veteran of 4 years and currently using the G.I. Bill as an undergraduate accounting student with a 3.62 GPA. I am in my second year; however, this is my 4th semester and because I do summer semesters as well and I got 21 credits from military experience, I am right along with the Juniors in terms of graduation date. In fact I will have more credits than them when they graduate needing only 15 more to get the 150. The problem arises in me being ahead, yet behind. I am far ahead of the the sophomores, yet a little behind the juniors in regards to accounting courses completed. I am taking Intermediate I and AIS this semester and Intermediate II and Tax in the Spring. I thought because I didn’t have that many accounting courses completed going into this semester that I should wait to apply for internships, especially Big 4. Then I found out that the most accounting firms around here do all of their recruiting in September. Even though Deloitte and PwC are the only big 4 firms recruiting at my school. So I started applying for internships in October to smaller firms and filling out talent profiles on the Big 4 websites. I do plan on attending University of Pittsburgh’s MAcc 1 year program after graduation so I would in a sense have another summer opportunity to get an internship. My question is, should I in the meantime try and get an internship doing individual tax returns or private accounting at a chain retail company? (I have offers for both) Ideally I want something in Public, and eventually that is what I want to; however, would either of those internships help me at all in the long run towards getting an internship with the Big 4 next year? Also like I said only those 2 seem to recruit at my school. Is there anyway to really have a chance at E&Y or KPMG? Thank you in advance.

First off, thank you for your service to this country. My grandfather was a Marine (enlisted just before the end of WW II and missed the action), so out of respect to you for your service, I’m not going to make an excessive number of comments about how much editing I had to do to make your letter readable. But I will make a humble suggestion (in case you weren’t just being sloppy given who you were emailing), please tighten up your writing a bit before you go out there sniffing for Big 4 gigs. Granted, most recruiters can’t spell recruiter but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be putting your best foot forward here.

Now that we got that out of the way, can I ask you something? Why are you so dead set on the Big 4? You’re not actually planning on spending your entire career there, are you? It is unclear from your email why you want to be in the Big 4 so bad, so we’re going to assume here that either you drank the Kool-aid or don’t realize that there are a myriad of other opportunities for someone with your background.

Coming from a small school with low recruitment and boasting a 3.62 GPA probably won’t make you stand out on any HR desks anytime soon but the tide could definitely turn when you get in to the University of Pittsburgh MAcc program, assuming you do well and are able to attend recruiting events that are likely more active than the ones at your current school. As you noted, this is good. Also good: your military service (they eat that stuff up, it shows an ability to take orders and not revolt) and the fact that you will definitely be CPA eligible from the moment they bring you on.

What’s the rush in the meantime? Are you looking for the experience? Trying to get your foot in the door in public? Have bills to pay? Just want to get out of the house? You have plenty on your plate (not to mention the CPA exam ahead of you), if I were you I’d just focus on school for now instead of considering doing tax returns in your spare time. Unless that’s what you want to do with the rest of your career.

Since many accounting students participate in VITA anyway, telling recruiters you interned on tax returns probably isn’t going to earn you many points. And unless the “private accounting” gig involves work under a licensed CPA that you can use toward your experience requirement for CPA licensure, I wouldn’t bother.

Comment section is open for the Peanut Gallery’s (much appreciated) two cents.

PwC India Consultant Did Not Technically Die From Work-Related Hazards

Over the weekend, we got news that a 34-year-old PwC India senior consultant was found dead at his Calcutta home. A maid noticed smoke and alerted the man’s parents, who lived downstairs. When the parents rushed into the room, they found their son’s bed partially in flames. Police and fire department officials initially suspected Sayan Chowdhury died of electrocution after discovering his charred body lying close to his charging laptop and iPod, headphones still in his ears. Police believe the man fell asleep with the laptop on.

“The preliminary post-mortem suggests he died of carbon monoxide inhalation, apparently while asleep,” joint commissioner of police Damayanti Sen said.

A friend told The Telegraph (India) that Chowdhury was “a very bright professional and had been rising fast in the organisation since switching from Cognizant Technology Solutions.” He leaves behind a six month old daughter and a wife, who also happens to work for PwC.

It is suspected at this time that Chowdhury died of carbon monoxide poisoning after the laptop charger short circuited in his tightly closed bedroom. The victim’s wife and newborn daughter were not in the home at the time, as they have been staying with his wife’s parents, who have been helping to care for the baby.

Experts suggest that it is possible the adapter attached to the power supply cord may have failed, leading to a 230-volt alternating current surge into the laptop, turning it into a death trap. Or, the battery may have got overcharged and exploded, spilling lethal chemicals on Chowdhury. Aside from the short circuit scenario, investigators have not ruled out the possibility that the fire and subsequent fatal CO inhalation was caused by a burning cigarette. “To identify the source of the CO, we have to wait for the forensic reports. The state forensic science laboratory officials collected samples of charred wire, the sample of half-burnt cigerettes,” an officer said.

What is the lesson here, kids? Well for one, don’t work too hard. Two, don’t leave your laptop on the charger. Three, don’t pass out with your laptop on the charger. Safety first!

 

A Few KPMGers Give Their Unqualified Opinion on Baby Poop

Yes, baby poop.

Apparently a few Kylnveldians recently got together to celebrate the upcoming birth of capital market servant spawn. Instead of the usual “pin-the-tail-on-the-obstetrician” and “figure out what kind of candy bar this is melted in the diaper” games most baby shower goers might be familiar with, the crew decided to get creative and make some onesies.

“I thought the KPMG outfit has so many underlying messages,” says the tipster, “For example: how creative we are when are spirits are not smashed, how many times our audits are as bad a verifying that poop is poop, etc. At least its cute!”

We call child abuse.

The Most Horrifying Prometric Story I Have Ever Heard

Remember last week when I asked you guys for your horror stories tales from the CPA exam frontlines? So far a few have trickled in (come on, people, you guys complain about this ALL THE TIME, I know there are more) but I just had to share this one. Keep in mind I’ve heard it all over the years, so this has to be pretty awful to stand out to me. As you’re about to see, it is.

Now please, I know you guys favor juvenile humor and bathroom jokes (and by you guys I mean me) but let’s be adults for the three minutes it takes to read this story and feel a little sympathy for this candidate.

Adrienne,
I wanted to share a story with you about my most recent exam. I, unfortunately, have to wear an ostomy bag due to health issues. When I took my exam, they did their pat down, and didn’t say a word. I don’t think they noticed that I wear a bag, as most people do not. During the exam, they came in and asked me to leave my terminal because they believe that I was carrying notes underneath my shirt.

I was questioned and searched in the room (in a professional way, I guess), but lost 10 minutes off of my test time as well as losing major concentration so they could “search” me for these mysterious notes of mine. Come to find out, it was just my beige ostomy bag that was showing. Shocker!

The embarrassment of wearing the bag is enough in itself, but being pulled away from a professional exam, losing both time and concentration, was a terrible experience. The people working at the location should have handled this in a more discreet manner. I still passed the exam, but it was a frustrating experience that could have waited until the end of the exam or when I took a break.

Didn’t something similar happen at a TSA checkpoint? As if we didn’t already think of Prometric lackeys as glorified airport security agents.

Now, nowhere in the candidate bulletin does it say candidates must loudly disclaim their medical devices to Prometric staff and declare them upon entry into the building. I imagine if someone had a broken wrist and was wearing a cast, the staff would be able to inspect said cast without issue before the candidate begins their exam but for this candidate, would it have gone any better if he or she had announced their special medical issue? Let’s be honest, this is awkward.

But for future reference… maybe candidates are expected to declare all medical devices? What next? Do you have to inform the Prometric staff if you’re packing a used tampon?!

Sorry. This post was already gross, might as well go all the way. I’m disgusted. In more ways than one.

It isn’t too late to get me your Prometric horror stories, though the bar has officially been set.