Accountants Ruin Joke

Are you missing out on some manufactured romance today? Wishing you had that special someone in your life so you could finally show off your handmade greeting card talents? Just wishing you could break the dry spell? Look no further than the cubicle next to you! Our friends as Vault, being acutely aware that today is the mother of all manufactured romantic days, have released their annual Office Romance Survey and this year’s results found that 59% of the 2,000+ people surveyed have participated in an office romance.

Now, we all know plenty of people that have decided to dip the pen in the company ink and during busy season when people are spending night and day with each other the desire to nibble on a love newton is especially tempting. But surprisingly, the number of accountants that admitted to an office romance was not nearly as high as you would expect, with only 47% saying they handled a co-worker’s assets.

Now, if that number seems a little low maybe it’s because there is a rule of three effect going on here but there’s really no way to tell. A few more details from the Vault survey:

• “[If you] felt uncomfortable because of co-workers’ intra-office romantic relationships”: 27% – “Yes”; 73% – “No” – Way more of “They’re cute together!” as opposed to, “Get a room!”

• “Felt that a co-worker gained a professional advantage because of a romantic relationship with a co-worker/superior”: 36% – “Yes”; 64% – “No” – Sleeping your way to the top must not work like it used to. Or maybe it never did.

• “Based on your previous experience in an office romance, would you participate in one again?” – 71% said “Yes” – Um, yes, the sex was worth it.

• Fourteen percent dated a supervisor while 30% dated a subordinate. – Title is good for something!

• Nearly 22% of respondents had “a tryst at the office.” – With a cleaning woman? On the desk? Should I not have done that?

• Twenty-one percent have an “office husband/wife.” – No sex involved here; just like a real marriage!

• Twenty-six percent of those surveyed said their company has an official policy regarding work relationships while 28% don’t know if their company has one. – Or choose not know.

• Thirty-six percent have known a married co-worker to have an affair at the office and 18% have known a married or seriously involved co-worker who had a romantic liaison while on a business trip for the company. – “Known” as in, “I’m pretty sure because just based on the way they’re acting, they’re definitely getting it on”? Or walking in on a break-room make-out session?

So Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day! Discuss your workplace romance adventures (the more awkward, the better) in the comments and try to get your beloved something a little less cliché (red roses, again?) or self-serving (Victoria’s Secret) this year.