Residents at 305 E. 86th St. are pretty lucky.
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Iowa Businessman Could Really Liven Up Your Accounting Firm’s Firings
If you’ve been in public accounting for a number years, you’ve certainly seen your share of colleagues get shown the door either due to work performance that was not up to par, “a slow down in the marketplace,” or engaging in office antics that are typically frowned upon. This is typically handled in a manner befitting of a professional accountant. That is, a very solemn conversation in a partner’s office with regrets, thanks for service, yada yada yada.
William Ernst (no relation, I’m guessing) is a Bettendorf, Iowa businessman that owns a chain of QC Mart convenience stores, and he was sick of his employees acting up. Fooling around behind the counter, bad language, smoking grass wearing hats. Poor clerking. To help make his point, Mr. Ernst decided to start a little contest and sent a memo to employees laying out the groundrules:
“New Contest – Guess The Next Cashier Who Will Be Fired!!!
To win our game, write on a piece of paper the name of the next cashier you believe will be fired. Write their name [the person who will be fired], today’s date, today’s time, and your name. Seal it in an envelope and give it to the manager to put in my envelope.
Here’s how the game will work: We are doubling our secret-shopper efforts, and your store will be visited during the day and at night several times a week. Secret shoppers will be looking for cashiers wearing a hat, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a QC Mart shirt, having someone hanging around/behind the counter, and/or a personal car parked by the pumps after 7 p.m., among other things.
If the name in your envelope has the right answer, you will win $10 CASH. Only one winner per firing unless there are multiple right answers with the exact same name, date, and time. Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes, award the prize, and start the contest again.
And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!”
Any firms considering cuts in the near to intermediate future, could really do well by this method. Although, since we’re dealing with a workforce that’s a little preoccupied with money, you’ll probably have to up the award to $100.
Vault Survey: 47% of Accountants Have Had an Office Romance
Are you missing out on some manufactured romance today? Wishing you had that special someone in your life so you could finally show off your handmade greeting card talents? Just wishing you could break the dry spell? Look no further than the cubicle next to you! Our friends as Vault, being acutely aware that today is the mother of all manufactured romantic days, have released their annual Office Romance Survey and this year’s results found that 59% of the 2,000+ people surveyed have participated in an office romance.
Now, we all know plenty of people that have decided to dip the pen in the company ink and during busy season when people are spending night and day with each other the desire to nibble on a love newton is especially tempting. But surprisingly, the number of accountants that admitted to an office romance was not nearly as high as you would expect, with only 47% saying they handled a co-worker’s assets.
Now, if that number seems a little low maybe it’s because there is a rule of three effect going on here but there’s really no way to tell. A few more details from the Vault survey:
• “[If you] felt uncomfortable because of co-workers’ intra-office romantic relationships”: 27% – “Yes”; 73% – “No” – Way more of “They’re cute together!” as opposed to, “Get a room!”
• “Felt that a co-worker gained a professional advantage because of a romantic relationship with a co-worker/superior”: 36% – “Yes”; 64% – “No” – Sleeping your way to the top must not work like it used to. Or maybe it never did.
• “Based on your previous experience in an office romance, would you participate in one again?” – 71% said “Yes” – Um, yes, the sex was worth it.
• Fourteen percent dated a supervisor while 30% dated a subordinate. – Title is good for something!
• Nearly 22% of respondents had “a tryst at the office.” – With a cleaning woman? On the desk? Should I not have done that?
• Twenty-one percent have an “office husband/wife.” – No sex involved here; just like a real marriage!
• Twenty-six percent of those surveyed said their company has an official policy regarding work relationships while 28% don’t know if their company has one. – Or choose not know.
• Thirty-six percent have known a married co-worker to have an affair at the office and 18% have known a married or seriously involved co-worker who had a romantic liaison while on a business trip for the company. – “Known” as in, “I’m pretty sure because just based on the way they’re acting, they’re definitely getting it on”? Or walking in on a break-room make-out session?
So Happy Valentine’s/Singles Awareness Day! Discuss your workplace romance adventures (the more awkward, the better) in the comments and try to get your beloved something a little less cliché (red roses, again?) or self-serving (Victoria’s Secret) this year.