Vampire Squid, Broken Down

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

For you viewing pleasure, FT Alphaville has provided some illustrations so that we might better conceptualize Matt Taibbi’s labeling of Goldman Sachs as “a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”, which still makes us wince.
All we’ll say is that includes Darth Vader so that makes it worth a look.
Vampire squid, illustrated edition [FT Alphaville]

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Jeremy Newman Has Had It

jnewman.jpgSo much so that he wrote a letter. The BDO International Global Coordiation CEO and infrequent blogger sent his letter to the Financial Times today in response to previous letters to the FT that unequivocally placed the blame for the financial apocalypse on accounting rules.
Newman, who strikes as the mild-mannered sort, comes as close to telling all the haters out there, “OH, HELL NO” as one might expect:

Sir, It is unfortunate if people are persuaded that accounting rules are to blame for bad lending decisions and poor investments (Letters, December 29). Banks, and other financial institutions, needed injections of monies from governments (and others) because they lost money and were short of cash – not merely because of accounting issues. Inadequate bad debt provisions, if such was the case, may have resulted in unduly large bonuses being paid but it was not the bonuses that created the cash shortages – it was the poor lending decisions that resulted in such bad debts. Equally, accounting rules did not result in companies overpaying for acquisitions – it was the poor investment decisions that resulted in a decision to overpay.

It’s pretty clear that J. New is sick and tired of everything being blamed on accounting rules and he figured writing a stern (but cordial) letter to the FT was the best way to draw the line in the sand. While that might have some effect, we would invite him to cut loose (read: go completely ape shit) on his blog to tell those IFRS haters what they can do with their pointer fingers. If you want us to read a draft JN, we’re here for you buddy.
Poor business decisions were behind losses [FT]

Sometimes You Need Help Getting Your Game On Track

We’re going to talk about a serious topic people. Many of you have discovered tricks of the trade to hep you focus on work that functions better than any sleeping aid out there.

What it basically amounts to is your focus. Sometimes, just sometimes, you require a little help getting your concentration back on track. It can be anything really. For example, if your plans for meeting your less-overworked friends out for a cocktail are totally blown, you might eat five frozen entreés out of the fridge that aren’t yours to feel better and just get your ass in gear to make last call.

Some of you probably rely on less-proven methods but sometimes this is a mental challenge and you have to take the necessary steps to up your game.

Others of you may take advantage of the discounted, yet ever inflating soda prices in your office or at a client location combined with the Adderall that you swiped from your spastic roommate.

We’re pretty sure some of you have come up with your cocktail of methods that, somehow, allow you to do an insurmountable amount of work in a a freakishly short amount of time. Since time is money, your superiors probably have no problem with whatever approach you’ve discovered so share your favorite method of reigning in the focus in the comments. We’re not encouraging illegal behavior here, so keep it below the felony level.

UPDATE: On the advice of counsel and because we care about all of you (yes, all). If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-877-RxAbuse (1-877-792-2873).