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Deadline Watch: Employee Benefit Plans

dow10000.jpgDid Dow 10,000 get you excited about your 401k again? No? Just a psychological level? Bah. “We don’t give a damn because we’re still down from the highs you jerk.”
Fine, you kill-joys, regardless if you still consider your nest egg to be in the crapper, there are lots of people out there that ingested inhuman amounts of MSG last night to get employee benefit plan audits completed and submitted with their Form 5500s for today’s deadline. This is our tribute to them*.
Sure, EBP audits are the redheaded step-child of audits but they keep some of you employed, they’re profitable and low risk so everybody a few people win. Good work EBP trolls, finish up and go get your drink on.
*Maybe we were just waiting until the day of the deadline to mention EBPs. Didja ever think of that? Didja?

Authors of Spam Emails Are Now Posing as Auditors

As if the profession’s reputation wasn’t already bad enough.

From: “davidlolf@hotmail.com”
Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 2:49:04 AM
Subject:

Good Day

I am Mr. David Lolf the Director in chrage of the Auditing section in Malaysia. Am sorry if this message comes to you as a surprise.

I have decided to contact you on a project that will be very beneficial to both of us . During our auditing in this Bank, I came across some amount of fund laying in wait here, and when i carried out my investigation, I discovered that it was an Overdraft that was perfected by the formal Auditor whom I took over the Office from, He was unable to move out this huge sum of money due to the Urgency that was attached to his dismissal from the Office.

And the said Fund is $16.2 Million United States Dollars.I am in search of a reliable person who can put a claim on this fund, so that it will be transferred to his/her account for both of us to use it for Investment purpose, right now I have successfully moved the Fund to an escrow Bonded Account in one of the Local Bank here In Malaysia.

Upon your acceptance to carry on this task more information will be made known to you. Please you have been advised to keep “top-secreat” as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after I conclude this Deal with you. I will fly down to your country or any place we shall agreed on for subsequent negotiation regarding the investment and benefits immediately this Fund has being tarnsferred into your designated Bank Account. , I look forward to receive your urgent reply via email davidlolf@gmail.com

Yours Faitfully
Mr.David Lolf
+60163206804.

Naturally, we’re hatching a plan to respond to Mr Lolf but in the meantime we thought we’d share his peculiar capitalization technique as well as present the chance at a windfall for those of you who are little more risk-inclined.