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December 4, 2022

MMA

‘Quiet’ Accountant to Shock Co-workers By Beating the Living Crap Out of Someone

Here at GC, we try to present you with career options now again.

Most notably, we throw the Job of the Day at you but every once in awhile we go off the deep end to present something outside the world of accounting altogether in order that to give false hope to people’s dreams of getting out of number crunching business altogether.


Emmanuel Mulili, a “quiet numbers cruncher who’s quick with a calculator” moonlights as a MMA fighter and his co-workers are surprised that such a ‘reserved’ guy would want to beat the living tar out of another human being.

The “African Assassin” can be seen this Saturday at the Rumble in the Zoo III, after which, his co-workers in attendance will not dare to look at him cross-eyed ever again. Especially since it’s reiterated time and again that Mulili is ‘laid back’ and ‘humble,’ which just convinces us that he has a natural inclination to rip your arms off if you happen to disagree with him on a double-entry accounting issue.

Naturally, Mulili would like to be the next accountant-cum-MMA champion, “I want to get a couple of fights under my belt,” he told the Kalamazoo Gazette, “When the time is right, I’ll turn pro. If it doesn’t work out, I can always get back into accounting. But right now, just keep swinging and pounding.”

Swinging and pounding your face after you hardcode a spreadsheet that he spent hours on.

‘Reserved’ accountant Emmanuel Mulili turns ferocious in MMA octagon [mlive]

Tax Deadbeat of the Day: Jose Canseco

Try to make sense of this: J Can made $45 million playing baseball, “wrote” two books that essentially ruined the juicing party in MLB, has been on countless reality shows, tried his hand at mixed martial arts and he can’t scrape together $320,000 for the IRS and the state of California?

Okay, can’t undo what’s done and unfortunately, Canseco has limited options. He can’t really call McGwire, Bonds, A-Rod, Jason Giambi for a loan. That’s just awkward, plus he doesn’t strike us as the type of guy who would pay you back if he could.


If the MMA doesn’t work out, then we’re thinking he’s still got plenty of options:

• Working outside an Abercrombie & Fitch

• Bouncer on a porn movie set

KPMG Chairman

Jersey Shore cameos

Other possibilities? Sure they’d have to garnish his wages but dude needs to get the ball rolling.

Slugger Jose Canseco strikes out with tax agencies [Tax Watchdog]