Fancy yourself a savvy investor? Are you starting a new hedge fund? Need a professional services firm to cater to your every whim so you can concentrate on creating the next shop to be lovingly mocked by our sister from another mister?
SOLUTION: Deloitte’s global full-service hedge fund emerging manager platform. Never heard of it? Of course not! It’s a brand-spanking new platoon in the asset management practice that is just rolling out Project KATN circa now:
“In today’s environment, emerging managers need recognized industry heavyweights for professional services. Deloitte has launched the hedge fund emerging manager platform to provide emerging managers with a solution that offers access to our global network, and customized, creative and responsive service,” said Cary Stier, vice chairman and Deloitte’s U.S. asset management services leader. “If you launch with Deloitte, you stay with Deloitte. A client cannot outgrow our services. Deloitte delivers results that matter.”
And because Deloitte already has “70 percent of U.S. hedge funds with more than $20 billion in assets under management, and 75 percent of global hedge funds with more than $20 billion in assets under management,” they figured that it was about time they started thinking about the little people-cum-hedge fund managers out there. You aren’t going to turn your tiny flagship fund into a behemoth without some help, so why not go with the firm that already schleps for most of the big boys?
So when shopping around for your indentured professional servants budding hedgies, Deloitte’s HFEMP (?) will have you know that they will be there with you every step of the way. From the time you realize your ginormous fortune (pet jungle cats, gold-plated toilets, etc.) to the spectacular implosion (incessant posts by BL, perp walk).