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Dylan McKay Won’t Be Able to Save Brenda Walsh From Her Tax Problem

Yesterday we may shared with you the unfortunate news about the dude from Reading Rainbow having a little tax problem which may have taken you back to the days of still whining about the lack of Cocoa Puffs in your house.

This time around celebrity tax problems take a little bit of a different path down memory lane (and a different theme song to get stuck in your head) to those days where your hormones were in control and the feeling of awkwardness was constant. For those of you too young to be familiar or give a rat’s ass about 90210, we’ll kindly enlighten you by stating unequivocally that Gossip Girl WOULD NOT EXIST without 90210.

Yes, Brenda Walsh, er, Shannen Doherty seems to have run across some tax trouble (just about $250k, NBD really) and as is our wont, we’ll present some possible solutions.

A) Another run at DWTS (nobody really gets it the first time).

B) 90210 movie – May we suggest that old wardrobe and hair styles be incorporated and that they should definitely go for the R rating? (seriously, how many times do you wish Dylan would have said “Fuck you Brandon, you momma’s boy” right in his smug face?)

C) Call ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon and see if he’s interested in making another movie.

D) Serious suggestions welcome.

‘Dancing’ star trips over tax bills [Tax Watchdog]

The Guy From Reading Rainbow Has a Small Tax Problem

A refresher:

If that doesn’t mean anything to you, he’s also the dude with the bizarro shades from Star Trek, The Next Generation.

But back to the RR for a sec – many of you would be an illiterate waste of space if it wasn’t for LeVar Burton, so the least you could do is pitch in so the man can pay the $34,000 he owes California. Or at least ask your parents to help out. It’s the least they can do since LB probably bought them some much-needed private time back in the day while you were zoning out on the shower in the toilet.

Tax resistance futile for Star Trek actor [Tax Watchdog]
See also (if you want the RR theme song stuck in your head):
LeVar Burton Owes $34,000 in State Taxes… “But Don’t Take My Word For It” [Tax Docket]

It’s About Time a Race Car Driver with a Drug Problem Got in Trouble with IRS

Among the celebrity/athlete tax delinquents we get a decent variety – hiphop artists, topless girl magnates/douches of the decade, juiced-up baseball players, washed-up actors, people stupid enough to have their picture taken in a Nazi visor and doing the “sieg heil.” It’s a potpourri.

Well, today we’re happy (not literally happy, tax delinquency is not a laughing matter) to report that tax troubles have now found their way into new area of the celebrity culture: race car drivers. And not just any race car driver, one that is rumored to have used meth! Lots of it!

We’re not too familiar with Jeremy Mayfield’s problems but after a quick glance at one article we’ve learned that A) he’s not crazy about NASCAR leadership B) dude has done a fair amount of crank in his day C) he’s not a fan of his “whore” stepmom who, he says, killed his Dad.

Between the work trouble, drug trouble and family trouble J May’s brain has to be mush; of course he’s going to forget to pay $300,000 in taxes. This is no different than the Snoop Dogg tax situation. Sure the drugs are different but the principle is the same. The guy just needs a solid CPA to take care of these things for him, preferably one that isn’t easily sketched out and can handle paranoid junkie types with money to throw around (assuming there’s money left).

Mayfield Has A Bigger Foe Than NASCAR: The IRS [SpeedTV]

Holiday Weekend Accounting News: KPMG Bolts Iran; Financial Statement Reader App for iPad?; IRS Job Creation; Another Koss Fraud Theory; Toni Braxton Tax Trubs; Illegals Bilk IRS for $13 mil; Job of the Day | 04.02.10

See you Monday, capital market servants. It’s okay, tax warriors – Just think, two weeks from today and you’ll be sleeping in.

KPMG severs Iran ties [FT]
T Fly and Co. has pulled the plug on Iran after big pressure from the UANI, “Tom Wethered, KPMG International’s general counsel, wrote to UANI on Thursday that the accountancy network had terminated the membership of Bayat Rayan, one of Iran’s biggest accountants.” The FT reports that the firm cited “serious and escalating concerns,” about the country’s government.

Imagine: iPad App l Statements [XBRL Business Information Exchange via CPA Trendlines]
Someone make this happen ASAP. “Imagine it. Everyone connected by the Web, not the current Web but the Semantic Web. iPads, iPods, iPhones, Androids, Smartphones; maybe a few PCs will still be around. IFRS used globally. Financial information in XBRL making it dynamic like a pivot table, rather than static like the legacy paper statements.”

Is Hiring More IRS Employees ‘Job Creation’? [The Atlantic]
There’s a lot of hysteria over the 16,000-some odd new IRS agents that will be running around the country trying to steal your freedom. Those are real jobs though.

Koss Fraud: Unrecorded revenue? [Fraud Files Blog]
Tracy Coenen kicks around another theory of how alleged shopaholic Sue Sachdeva hid her embezzlement from Grant Thornton, “I’ve heard from a few sources who I consider to be very reliable that Sachdeva hid her theft by not recording revenue. This would mean that Koss’s revenue was understated by $31 million during the time she was committing her theft.” Tracy points out that this method would be “messy” but “There is almost no chance that the auditors will discover the theft and the cover-up. The bulk of the auditors’ work is spent on the balance sheet. So long as transactions related to the theft don’t show up in the ending balances of the balance sheet accounts, she’s pretty safe there.”

Singer Toni Braxton bobbles tax bill [Tax Watchdog]
Toni Braxton really needs help. She now owes the IRS nearly $400k after a $71k tab from last summer. We’ll say it again – Get Ludacris on the phone.

10 illegal aliens in S.C. admit to bilking IRS out of $13 million [Greenville Online]
Who do the teabaggers get mad at for this one? Don’t they hate the IRS and illegal aliens equally? We can only hope that this will cause their heads to explode. Oh, and because it’s in South Carolina we can probably expect a lynching of everyone involved.

Job of the Day: Fannie Mae Needs a Experienced Accountant [GC Career Center]
Four to six years experience, CPA required. Responsibilities include: Compile, review, analyze, and record financial information to the general ledger. Complete monthly closings. Prepare balance sheet and profit and loss statements, consolidated financial statements, and other accounting schedules and reports. Located in DC Metro. You!

Suge Knight Really Needs a 2Pac Comeback to Get Him Out of This Tax Lien

Suge Knight may be the heir apparent to Nicolas Cage for the King of celebrity tax trouble. There have been several minor liens thrown in here and there and Nas’ $3+ million tax lien was certainly impressive but Suge’s looks like a solid leader for the crown right now.

We should note that for the purposes of celebrity tax issues, Joe Francis does not qualify since he’s technically a “douche” and not a “celebrity”. Also, since the $33 million-ish lien just up and disappeared (we’re assuming that Lucifer is somehow involved) he’s off the hook.

Anyhoo, so being tardy on taxes seems to be a common occurrence but Suge seems to be going for the tardiest of the tardy. He has managed to avoid paying a tax lien, originally filed in 2003, for his 1996 tax return. TMZ is reporting that the lien was re-filed in January and that he owes $6,578,696.31.

TMZ is also reporting that in child support papers filed by Suge’s baby mama, it was revealed that his net income is only $1,207 so paying this lien is going to need some kind of resurrected 2Pac comeback somethingorother.

The blog Baller Status also reports that last month “several personal items he had tucked away in storage were auctioned off to the highest bidder after he failed to pay the storage fees. Belongings such as furniture, TVs, and even a large photo of himself with the late Tupac Shakur were sold.”

So whenever you’re feeling a little down about your own dire personal financial situation or think about your crappy pay, just remember that you could be Suge Knight.

Suge Knight — Old School Tax Lien [TMZ]

Søren Hansen Is Another Golfer Who Is a Cheater; But He’s a Tax Cheater

Since golf is a sport (?) that some of you engage in, you’ll be interested to know that Søren Hansen, the Danish linkster, may be going to jail for tax fraud.

He’s not banging everything that moves or shilling for an accounting firm, he just hates taxes. Just like you!

Hansen owes the Danes 9.6 million kroner which is about $1.75 million. That puts him a shade below Nas tax trouble.

Denmark is claiming that Hansen is a resident but he says that he kicks it in Monaco 24/7. Apparently he summers up in the motherland so this thing is a toss-up at best. If he’s found guilty of failing to pay the taxes he could wind up paying a fine of 10 million kroner and “an unspecified prison term”.

We don’t have any idea what a Danish prison would be like although we’re sure it’s rotten.

Fraud police ready to jail golfer [Copenhagen Post]

Nas Slowly Approaching Nicolas Cage Tax Trouble Levels

Actually he has quite a ways to go to get to the nearly $14 million that NC agreed to pay the IRS and isn’t even close to the $33 million that “Douche of the Decade” Joe Francis owed (that has now been dropped we should add) but a $3 million tax lien is nothing to sneeze at.

On the other tax deadbeat hand, Nas easily eclipsed other recent tax scofflaws including Snoop Dogg’s lien of $600k, Jose Canseco’s $320k and Eve’s $357k. But actually, it’s not really that hard considering, “sources say Nas doesn’t have a clue he’s going under financially…He was at Sundance recently and raked in $50,000 for a performance, which, we’re told, he blew before he blew out of Sundance.”

Presumably the IRS won’t let it get too much further out of hand. After planes and bulldozers, we’re thinking they’ll stay on the offensive with regards to resistance.

Reality to Nas — ‘Memba Me? [TMZ]
Recent Celebrity Tax Scofflaws:
Tax Deadbeat of the Day: Jose Canseco
Why Snoop Dogg’s Latest Tax Problem Isn’t a Surprise
The IRS Wants a Piece of Eve
Joe Francis Continues to Get Hassled by the IRS
Nicolas Cage’s Catastrophic Financial Situation May be Coming to End

Tax Deadbeat of the Day: Jose Canseco

Try to make sense of this: J Can made $45 million playing baseball, “wrote” two books that essentially ruined the juicing party in MLB, has been on countless reality shows, tried his hand at mixed martial arts and he can’t scrape together $320,000 for the IRS and the state of California?

Okay, can’t undo what’s done and unfortunately, Canseco has limited options. He can’t really call McGwire, Bonds, A-Rod, Jason Giambi for a loan. That’s just awkward, plus he doesn’t strike us as the type of guy who would pay you back if he could.

If the MMA doesn’t work out, then we’re thinking he’s still got plenty of options:

• Working outside an Abercrombie & Fitch

• Bouncer on a porn movie set

KPMG Chairman

Jersey Shore cameos

Other possibilities? Sure they’d have to garnish his wages but dude needs to get the ball rolling.

Slugger Jose Canseco strikes out with tax agencies [Tax Watchdog]

Why Snoop Dogg’s Latest Tax Problem Isn’t a Surprise

Seriously. Does anyone think that Snoop Dogg forgetting about his taxes is that much of a stretch? He’s got to have the money; the Starsky & Hutch royalties alone should be able to settle the $598-odd thousand lien that the IRS slapped on him.

So the only plausible explanation is that he forget to pay the taxes. He’s got the regular day-to-day celebrity issue that Nicolas Cage or Eve may have but come on people. His daily ritual consists of choosing between White Widow, Hollands Hope or Northern Lights (or whatever strain he wants, really); has it occurred to anyone that it may have slipped his mind?

D-O-Double G got hit with a lien last year too so isn’t this the kind of tax compliance we’ve come to expect anyway? It’s basically like you scrounging around for your keys every morning. It’s the routine.

Yes, we suppose that he could hire a CPA to take care of his business affairs but we’re guessing that may have escaped the mental to-do list too. NBD, really. See you next year Snoop.

The IRS Wants a Piece of Eve

Don’t we all. But seriously, what the hell is wrong with celebrities that can’t manage to pay their taxes? CPAs aren’t that expensive.

Eve isn’t in Nicolas Cage tax trouble with her little bill to the IRS but then again, who is?

The hip-hop star/actress/Who Wants to be a Millionaire contestant (charity, we hope?) owes around $357k from four different liens, two filed by the IRS and two by the state of California from ’08 and ’09.

So let’s brainstorm to help get this girl out of trouble. Is Barbershop 3 in the works? The Glee thing seems to have gone okay but do TV gigs pay enough? She’s not making Seinfeld money after all. Is WWTBAM still a series? Maybe they’re running it in the old Soviet Bloc and she can get on it there…

Hip-hop star Eve hops over tax bill
[Tax Watchdog]