The PCAOB has announced Daniel Goelzer will be acting Chairman of the Board effective August 1. Goelzer brings an impressive resume with him, not to mention a sheriff-like mustache that will undoubtedly let the accounting firms know that he is not to be trifled with.
Category: Uncategorized
PCAOB Names Acting
Why IFRS is Similar to an Obscure Reality TV Program
Late on Friday we told you about the rager that the IFAC was throwing over the weekend in London and today we get the less than surprising news that they want the governments of the world to push for global accounting standards.
“According to IFAC, participants at the conference agreed that the public interest would best be served by a single set of high-quality, principles-based financial reporting and auditing standards for listed and public interest entities.”
The problem with this whole push for IFRS is that getting anyone to care about accounting rules is like trying to get men interested in the whole Jon & Kate Plus 8 drama. They’re completely clueless at first mention and when you attempt to get into the details interest is immediately lost.
Leading accountants tell governments quicken pace of global standards adoption [Accountancy Age]
Grant Thornton Interns Don’t Get Coffee, Thankyouverymuch
Last week we asked for some perspective on the chicanery and lovable idiocy of your interns. Today we learn that about a Grant Thornton intern who “verifies that clients’ accounting records are accurate and sits in on important meetings.”
That’s right, interns are verifying accounting records and going to important meetings. Probably the type of meetings where they get to take notes on internal control procedures while the experienced associates can barely keep from strangling themselves with a network cable.
Yet, life remains unfair for the interns, “Interns who talked to RedEye said they are gaining experience to prepare them for the workforce, but increased intern responsibilities typically don’t come with increased pay or perks or even more respect.”
After going to those important meetings, interns still aren’t feeling respected people. No increased pay. No perks. How can this be? Haven’t they done enough? They tried to earn your respect by making the copies that you asked for and getting totally bombed at firm events. They didn’t mean to ask so many questions about the copier. They’re just new, so they want to make sure they don’t screw anything up.
What else can they do? Shine your shoes? Fill your car up with gas? Buy your lunch (they’re probably making more than associates on a per hour basis anyway)? The summer internship season is winding down so make sure you’re letting them know (and us) how they can go that extra mile to get that full-time offer.
Chicago interns move up corporate ladder [Redeye]
Harry Markopolos was in Serious Need of Clean Underwear While Investigating Bernie Madoff
Super-star fraud detector Harry Markopolos was named Certified Fraud Examiner of the Year at the ACFE Fraud Conference and Exhibition in Las Vegas last week where he discussed his excellent card-counting method and the Madoff Ponzi scheme.
Harry wanted to everyone to know that just because he blew the whistle on Master de Ponz, that didn’t mean he was a hero. “Heros are brave”, he said, “I don’t think I was brave. I know I wasn’t.” He went on to describe his lack of bravery:
“When I started this case, my underwear were white, they quickly became brown and often times turned yellow”
Okay, after that sinks in, let’s discuss some things:
• We don’t want our fraud detection super-heros to tell us that they soil themselves. It ruins the sex appeal.
• Harry Markopolos wears tighty-whiteys. We were certain that he was a boxers man.
• Was no one helping this guy out? You couldn’t let the guy have a break so he can properly evacuate?
Seriously, the least Marko could have done is stuck his dirty undies, the whites, in a case so the ringer wouldn’t look empty.
Go to Clip 3, “The Math Never Worked Out for Us” on page linked below to see the video. Meanwhile, we’re busy looking for new fraud detection hero that can control themselves.
Madoff Whistleblower Named CFE of the Year [fraudconference.com via Accounting Nation]
H&R Block is Not Letting McGladrey & Pullen Leave Until They Talk About This
So the H&R Block/McGladrey & Pullen soap opera break-up has gotten more annoying. At first, it simply looked like a firm falling out of love with its parent company because M&P didn’t want to be stuck with a loser their whole life.
Natch, H&R Block wasn’t going to just let M&P walk away from the best thing that ever happened to the firm. M&P was not going to have that conversation and said that they were still walking out.
The Block feels so strongly that M&P is making a mistake, that it was announced late last Friday, probably in order to not make a scene, that H&RB sued M&P to prevent the termination of their administrative service agreement. Essentially saying, “WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS!“
M&P is not impressed with this desperate attempt to be won back:
“We are disappointed that H&R Block has chosen to pursue litigation,” said McGladrey & Pullen managing partner Dave Scudder. “We are committed to respecting our legal obligations and are confident we are doing so. Thus we are confident this lawsuit has no merit. Under the terms of our shared services agreement, we have every right to terminate that arrangement. We have chosen to do so because it is the best business decision for McGladrey & Pullen LLP in order to serve our clients in the increasingly complex business and regulatory environment.”
M&P is over being held back by HR&B and wants to get out there on their own. Besides, all The Block does is sit around and prepare tax returns for people who can’t read the instructions on the tax forms. You’ve got no motivation, Block. Oh sure, you got into the online tax return prep business but now what? M&P just wants time to be alone, so please respect that.
Block Files Suit Against McGladrey & Pullen [WebCPA via CPA Trendlines]
Try to Do Something Constructive this Weekend, Like Get the Whole IFRS Debate Settled
In what might be the biggest rager of the weekend, the International Federation of Accountants (IFAC) are meeting today and tomorrow in London to get down to brass tacks on the whole global meltdown thing.
Also on the agenda for the IFAC: Coming up with a plan to get one set of global accounting standards, and also figure out how to convince the likes of Maxine Waters to BTFO of accounting rules and stick to cooking up dead-end legislation on banning of credit default swaps.
Let us know how it goes.
Accountants’ Group Calls for Single Set of International Rules [Bloomberg]
You Don’t Have the Worst Job in the World
Because we know that many of you feel that way on a daily basis. But nope, sorry. Dealbreaker tells us about the prosecutors in the Stanford case piecing shredded documents back together. If your job sucks worse than that, tell us about it because…WHOA.
Have You Any Tchotchkes?
In the spirit of Lehman Brothers’ desperation, we’re looking to find out which firm out there has the best chance of financing its next big settlement by virtue of hocking its tchotchkes on eBay.
Because no one can say with absolute certainty which big firm will be the next be rendered extinct (although there are some wagers on it) and thus, none of you working for any firm can be sure when all that schwag you’re accumulating in your cube farm will be worth anything, we thought we would get your submissions so that we can determine which firm has as shot at using auctions in cyberspace as opposed to closing up shop. At first glance, E&Y has nothing on eBay but books, so we’re guessing you guys have the most to prove here.
Check out another schwagtastic example after the jump
Some of you have probably checked out for the day already anyway, so you might as well start putting that camera phone to use and email your submissions to tips@goingconcern.com. Big firms, small firms, we don’t care, we know there are some real finds out there. Just like this beauty:
The best submissions will be posted here and the respective firm’s ability to spend money on frivolous junk will be duly ridiculed.
Audit Opinions May Soon Require Partners’ Names Signed in Blood
The details are still being worked out but another idea being floated around is giving partners the option of signing some opinions in dog feces, when the opinion being signed is in fact, of equivalent value.
Press Release [PCAOB.org]
What’s the Move When You Get Fired for Looking at Porn?
Okay number-crunchers, we realize you don’t have the most exciting jobs in the world and sometimes you need a little distraction from Excel. Totally natch. Checking out ESPN, Perez Hilton, Going Concern, Facebook is even encouraged in some circles.
Some of you might even be so bold to see what the latest uploads on YouPorn, XTube, et al. are. Fine. We get that. It’s just your biology running wild right? We totally understand. What we can’t understand is those of you that are blatantly watching two girls, one guy, and a Clydesdale reenact the Kama Sutra in your cubicle.
Of course, when somebody catches you drooling on your keyboard, you have to act completely dumbfounded about how such a graphic display of human and equine love could have ended up on your screen. Somehow your superiors don’t buy your stammered out explanation and you’re out on your ass. Time to find to new job that’s not so uptight anyway, right?
So when you’re sitting in the interview with the potential new boss and he/she asks you why you left your last job, how do you explain your penchant for bestiality in a way that gets you hired? The Journal seems to think honesty is the best policy. Just admit what you did and swear that you’ll never, never, never do it again. We’re not convinced this would go over well but whatevs.
Anyone been fired for “inappropriate” Internet use? Did you cover it up in your next interview with “management and I had differences”? Or did you do your damnedest to find a workplace with a less stringent web use policy? Discuss.
Getting Fired for Inappropriate Web Use [WSJ]
FASB, Bankers to Continue ‘Religious War’ Over Fair Value
Apparently the wonks in Norwalk are girding up their loins to take on the banks again over fair value, described by FASB member Marc Siegel as a “religious war” (our pick would be The Crusades).
Under new preliminary proposals issued by the FASB last week, all financial assets, including loans would be marked to market every quarter and classifications like held to maturity, held for investment, and held for sale would go the way of the Dodo.
Jonathan Weil conceptulizes:
Think how the saga at CIT Group Inc. might have unfolded if loans already were being marked at market values. The commercial lender, which is struggling to stay out of bankruptcy, said in a footnote to its last annual report that its loans as of Dec. 31 were worth $8.3 billion less than its balance sheet showed. The difference was greater than CIT’s reported shareholder equity. That tells you the company probably was insolvent months ago, only its book value didn’t show it.
Got it? Well, banks are obviously not cool with this, as one lobbyist is quoted, “I guess the nicest thing I can say is it’s difficult to find the good in this.” I guess it’s on then bitches, as it sounds like the banks would much rather bleed out their orifices until the bitter, bitter end as opposed to report anything that is remotely transparent.
Accountants Gain Courage to Stand Up to Bankers: Jonathan Weil [Bloomberg]
H&R Block Still Loves McGladrey & Pullen
Earlier in the week we told you about McGladrey & Pullen falling out of love with H&R Block. Well, H&RB is not going to just let M&P walk away. The Company cares too much about this relationship:
“We believe the path proposed by certain of M&P’s leaders is fraught with significant business and financial risks and is not in the best interest of M&P partners, employees or clients,” Block CEO Russ Smyth in a release Wednesday. “Whether the full M&P partnership is willing to assume these immense risks remains to be seen.”
Nevermind the fact that H&R Block is the used car salesman of tax preparers. Nevermind that H&RB is probably responsible for the failed appointments of several Obama cabinet members. This about love lost (and probably sex lost).
H&R Block questions McGladrey & Pullen decision [Kansas City Business Journal]