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How To Explain Why Fantasy Football Is Always on Your Computer

Back with another edition of “Accountants’ Questions: ANSWERED!” – a reader needs advice on the age-old question (for about a decade or so) of explaining why fantasy football is always on your laptop.

Caught in an accounting career conundrum? Looking for some atypical icebreakers for your next firm event? Want advice on how break free from the unwelcome massage that creepy co-worker always tries to give you? Email us at [email protected] and we’ll dish it out.

Back to our gridiron geek:

How do I explain why fantasy football is always up on my laptop?


Many cube dwellers have had the unenviable experience of explaining why an imaginary roster of players is constantly on their laptop screens. The temptation to always have it available at a moment’s notice is completely understandable since at the drop of a hat someone’s penis (allegedly!) can end up on the web and his backup is instantly becomes a hot commodity.

For many of you vets out there, years of experience has afforded you to develop your own techniques, so please share your best methods. As for some general advice, there are some key things to remember/consider:

1. Include a manager/partner in your league – That will allow you invoke “team building” and “rapport.”

2. Key Shortcuts are your friend – Two words: Alt-tab. You don’t have to explain anything if you’re fast enough.

3. Cite research – Studies show that time on the web boosts productivity. Explain to your taskmaster that you’re simply saving time by keeping the Fantasy screen available at all times. Further explain that the amount of time that you actually spend looking at it is miniscule compared to the spreadsheet for that analytic.

4. You’re human – If you find yourself schelping for a fantasy-hating superior, simply point to everything you’ve accomplished in the past hour/day/week and you’re simply taking a break. What are you, a robot?

The most important thing to remember is to have other tabs in your browser with things that are, at the very least semi-related to work. This way, you don’t have to explain yourself every time someone pops in. Keep a relevant section of the tax code open. Or a SFAS that is currently giving you fits (even if it isn’t). Or a substantive article from this fine publication.

Just because you have an imaginary football roster available at all times, doesn’t mean that you also aren’t struggling through a mind bending financial reporting issue or keeping abreast of the haps in the industry.

Oh, and for the love of God, keep your cool and play like it’s NBD. “Oh, that? Yeah. I’ve been sitting on this trade and this stupid person in my league was bothering me about it. Just trying to get them off my back.” There’s nothing worse than someone stammering for an awkward answer to an awkward question.

Again, we’re sure there are many advanced techniques out there, so we invite you to share yours below.