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Nicolas Cage’s Catastrophic Financial Situation May be Coming to End

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

God willing friends, this may mark the end of the financial tragedy that has plagued our hero for we’renotsurehowlong.

It only took putting homes from every continent, both poles, and a bungalow on the moon all on the market. He got sued by his ex-girlfiend, his former business manager and had more liens slapped on his ass than MC Hammer.

But NC is going to pay $14 million to the Service and he’s free and clear. Done. No more troubles. He’s confident this time. You know why? Because he told People about it:

While the government recently placed a tax lien on his real-estate holdings, including an additional $6.7 million from 2008, “over the course of my career I have paid at least $70 million in taxes, unfortunately, due to a recent legal situation, another approximate $14 million is owed to the IRS,” Cage tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “However, I am under new business management and am happy to say that I am current for 2009, all taxes will be paid including any to be determined state taxes.”

$84 million is all it took friends and now that’s he’s got new business management, nothing like this will ever happen again. Plus, the next edition of the National Treasure franchise appears unstoppable. BACK. IN. THE. GAME.
[via the TaxProf]

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Tea Partiers Taking Serious Measures, Arrange Virtual March with Avatars

The Tea Partiers (not to be confused with tax protestors who are way more delusional) have made their names known all across this great land for hating on taxes. They’ve marched pretty much everywhere but do you know where they haven’t marched? On the Internet! That’s right, nothing like a virtual march with politicians up for reelection joining the cause (can’t be seen with those nutjobs in person).

The “march” will occur on, you guessed it, April 15th and it will occur “in” Washington DC.


Some of the other cartoon leaders that will be in “attendance” are

• Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey

• Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee

• Americans for Tax Reform president Grover Norquist

• Senator John McCain (R-AZ)

• Michael Reagan, son of former President Ronald Reagan

• The Tea Party Express – A red bus.

We have to admit that we’re impressed with this risky move by this group that we would otherwise shun a technological feat of this magnitude. Does anyone think that Dick Armey or John McCain even knows what an avatar is? What lucky member of their respective staffs got the responsibility of creating those?

This is especially fun for the tea p’s because since this particular march is virtual, it is likely that certain actions and/or methods that the tax haters could only dream of before, will now be allowed. These may include but not limited to:

• Leaving flaming bags of shit on White House’s front steps.

• Protestors showing “video” of President Obama walking around wearing a Sandwich Board saying “I love taxes.”

• Resurrecting the Founding Fathers (zombie TJ!) to get their testimonials about how the Obama Administration is ruining America.

• Portray Nancy Pelosi giving a speech on the Capitol steps in one of those olive-colored Castro outfits.

• Bring Ronald Reagan back to life, just because.

• Other portrayals of “taxation without representation” taken wildly out of context.

All we ask is that you keep it non-violent. Tea p’s that aren’t too good with them computers need not worry though, actual marches will be held around the country on April 15th where you’ll be allowed to shout, march and carry signs with plenty of misspelled words.

Tax Protesters Launch Online March on Washington [Web CPA]
Online Tax Revolt [Website]

Frank Wolf Has Grover Norquist’s Attention

Earlier we learned that Virginia Congressman Frank Wolf is completely creeped out by Tax Terminator Grover Norquist’s BSD status in the Republican Party.

It’s been bothering Mr. Wolf so much that his “conscience” compelled him to give a speech on the House floor today to remind everyone what kind of Grover company keeps (i.e. the “unsavory” kind).

And since Grover has Viking DNA coursing through his veins, you’d be a monkey’s uncle if you thought that he was going to let this shit slide:

Norquist branded Wolf’s speech a “hissy fit” and a “compilation of whack job criticisms.” He added that he thought the Virginia Republican, one of the relatively few GOP members of Congress to have not signed the tax pledge, was lashing out at him because he did not want to call out his Republican colleagues. “He is the only Republican arguing that tax increases are a good idea,” Norquist told The Hill. “What he has is a problem with the American people and the modern Reagan Republican Party.”

But hey, GN is old political cat; he knows how the game is played:

“[I]f he wants to chew on my ankles, I can take it.”

How’s that for a visual?

Norquist: GOP lawmaker’s criticism ‘beneath him’ [OTM/The Hill]

Lots of People in the South Have $0 Tax Liability

So those nonpayers you heard about throughout tax season? Proportionately, lots of them are in the south (don’t ask us why they used red/blue):


Purely by the numbers, California has the most with over six million taxpayers whose credits and deductions reduce their tax liability to zero. However, of the ten states that have the highest proportion of nonpayers, nine of them are in the south, including Texas and Florida, who have 4.2 and 3.4 million tax filers that had no tax liability respectively.

The total number of nonpayers in the south is approximately 13 million or 25% of the total 51 million, according tot he IRS’ data. So whatever the expression is that includes the combination of God loving the South and hating taxes, suddenly has more credence to it.

States Vary Widely in Number of Tax Filers with No Income Tax Liability [Tax Foundation]